Just a place to talk about whatever is on my mind!
Monday, November 27, 2006
Birthday Blues
Steph and Adam went and got her Mamaw (83 years old) and brought her down to stay a couple of days to see the baby and be with us for Thanksgiving, which we celebrated on Saturday to share with her so she could be back home on Thursday to celebrate with the rest of the family.
It was good to have all of that going on..took my mind off the stupid thing I did a few days earlier. I sent an email birthday card. One that never got opened, probably just deleted. That still has the power to hurt me and it always will I guess. It has been a whole year now since I was kissed and told 'we will talk again, I promise'. Now the question is, if he contacted me, is there anything he can say that I want to hear? I begged for talking for months and didn't get it..so.................as much as I need closure AGAIN I don't think thats going to happen. I have accepted that for the most part, there is just a little person still on my shoulder who sometimes whispers....WHY???
Yesterday was my birthday and again I am reminded how fast my life is flowing by. I feel like I am stuck in a tunnel and the walls are slowly closing in on me. Here I sit day after day and accomplishing nothing, contributing nothing, going nowhere. Just biding time until the little ones go to school. I should FEEL something shouldnt I? I think I have the birthday blues...a couple of days crying and wondering when that bright, cheerful young woman I used to be transformed into the gray haired woman with tears lurking a blink away. I hope it's only a couple of days...seems like its been months already, actually it has! Crap...gotta HATE maudlin old women!!!!
A friend sent me this link in the email....Go there, pick out a card ( done by children and ADORABLE!) , add your name and a lil message then Xerox copies and sends it to a soldier for us. We don't get to pick the soldier but I bet any of them would be glad to get a card from home, especially with the holidays upon us. I think it's a wonderful way to spend a few minutes of my time ( I will prolly send several!) ..how about you?? http://www.letssaythanks.com/Home.html
CYBER-SEXI'd been reading about the term 'cyber sex' a lot lately,so decided to try and figure out what it meant.I figured it had something to do with the computer,so I tried to find the sex drive on mine.I looked everywhere, in all the folders on my computer,the Add/Uninstall software. Then I got all the manuals and went through them.I finally came to the conclusion that my computer is not equipped with one. So I decided to go to the computer store to see if I could buy one. The sales person in the first store was a stern looking woman,I gave her the make and model of my computer,and asked her if she had any sex drives in stock.She scowled at me and asked if I was trying to get smart with her.Then rather rudely I thought, she just walked away.Huh! Must not have had any in stock.The guy in the second store laughed and asked me if I'd fallen off a turnip truck. I assured him I'd never been on a turnip truck but I had fallen off the wagon a few times.He said that explained it and he walked away laughing.The guy in the third store said something like 'boob' under his breath and walked away, wonder why he only noticed one!Anyway, I figured they must not carry them in these stores,maybe I have to order them from a catalogue or something.So that's where I am now....If any of you have some computer skills and could helpme locate my sex drive, I would appreciate it.
Hi Everybody, My name is Cain Michael, I was born on October 30, 2006 and I weighed 6 lbs 6 oz. My Mom thought I was as big as a school bus! My Granny says I am her 4th beautiful Dumpling and I fit right in, even though I look like my Daddy. I am sweet and warm and I am very loved. Sincerely, Cain
