Dec.15

Well it finally hit tonight, the sadness that I feel this time of the year. I hate losing the joy of Christmas but there are so very many painful memories now...they just snuck up and rolled right over me before I could stop them tonight. Wave after wave, it seems they don't end once they start. It would be so nice to have somebody just to hold me and talk to me until I could handle it again but emotion is the one thing that seems to make people the most uncomfortable. (or maybe it just doesn't matter to them? ) So....until I can find my balance again or at least pretend, here I sit crying in the dark, alone and so very lonely.