Santa ClausNorth Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Lori's Office party. It was John who spiked the punch with too much Elf juice. I can't help it if I drank 12 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like palmolive.
I thought it was funny when I put Rick's socks on my head and danced the lambada on the high chair while singing `Joy to the World'. I didn't mean to break Lori's razor and don't know why Lori would accuse me of jaywalking.
I don't remember calling Mark's wife a vigorous Cow---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and orange lipstick!
And when I threw up on Stella's husband's pinky toe, it was only because I ate too much of that pickle relish.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my moped through my neighbor's door. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a wide goat and have me arrested for kidnapping!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all awsome and loud. And I'm really not to blame for any of this succulent stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and limping yours,

V (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 9 bucks!

(I borrowed this from Lori's blog...here's the link if you want it : http://members.aol.com/frogiearno/dearsanta.htm )