I was thinking about how a person can hurt another persons feeling sometimes, or make them feel insecure and not realize they are doing it. I guess it's just in the outlook or values....what is important to me might not be important to another person so if they disregard it it means nothing to them and it hurts me. Things like that are hard to determine and often hard to explain since the other person seldom sees your view of it. lol that's when you get called silly. Feelings aren't silly ...they are real and how you feel is how you feel for whatever reasons.
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Today is my Julie's third birthday!!

I have always loved babies and kids and was looking forward to having grandkids. I was sitting at my computer one day and my son came in and leaned against the wall and said..'Mamma Sarah's pregnant' lol so I looked at him and said 'ok when is the wedding?' (Some background here..Cody and Sarah have been together since he was 16 years old...and had been living together for about 4 years when this happened, not something I liked but I didn't fuss.) Anyway it is my view that a child should be born into a solid family where the mom and dad have the same name and it's a permanent relationship, and living together might be long term but it's still open ended..thus the question. (lol ok ok it's my old fashioned conservative outlook showing.....) So anyway, at first I was excited, then the tears started..all of the sudden I felt OLD..a GRANNY!! So I moped around a couple of days and the excitement came back...woooohoooo a baby!! Well the weeks passed and one day he came back in, obviously disturbed about something, and told me that something had happened, our baby was dead. Ahhhhh the pain....They were in the hospital on my son's birthday removing the traces of the baby from Sarah's body. Well the months creeped by, busy with my Mom and a couple of months after her death she was pregnant again......terrified to say anything in case the same thing happens again, but things were great....we all were there for the sonogram that showed us a lil creature curled up in her tummy with her mouth moving already. What a sight!!! Well January comes around and Sarah is FULL of baby lol and off to the hospital they go to induce because the Dr is going on vacation ( Just a messed up idea in my opinion) and Sarah lays there for hours...finally at 5:30pm with Cody on one side of her and me on the other, that lil bundle is pushed out into the Drs waiting hands... what a sight...what feelings. And that was 3 years ago....she is a wonder...a healthy,bossy, loving, talkative lil bundle with wispy blond waves and moss green eyes and round chubby cheeks... Granny's dumpling, a jewel indeed. I still think about the baby we lost...the one who was loved so much that we never got to hold...and thank God for the ones he has given us.