ok I have decided that I am probably a bitch. It seems to be ME that has a problem with the bear's drinking and subsequent behaviour. Living with an alcoholic is no fun for me at all, but apparently nobody sees anything wrong but me.
We live in a rural area and since the bear doesn't care to go and do very many things, we basically have no social life. He has friends that he sees quite often but since I rarely leave the house and have never had a friend that he liked or didnt raise cain about me spending time with, my social life is very limited.
Another topic for another day tho...anyway yesterday we were invited to a barbeque at our neighbors house, so I was looking forward to that. He went hunting yesterday morning and been drinking all day so by 5 pm when he came in the house he was a bit wobbly...but optimistically away we went. And again it was a huge let down. It seems that every time we go anywhere I end up being embarrassed and getting pissed off. I have tried asking him not to get that way..it only seems to make it worse.
I just don't understand I guess. I just do NOT get why a person can't drink a couple of beers and then stop, why is it necessary to just keep drinking even when they know they are getting DRUNK? (and I know he can tell because I asked) And why is it ME that gets embarrassed. And why is it ME that ends up crying and upset over it? And why am I still here?????
posted by Facets of V @ 10:44 AM
2 Comments:
YOU'RE a bitch? I suppose there's no such thing as support group in your area for spouses of alcoholics ?? Or at least maybe there's a web site that might point you in the right direction.
Don't ask him to understand what his drinking is doing to others, remember alcohol numbs the brain. And destroys brain cells. And destroys heart cells. Among other things. You can only change yourself, and how you react to him. You can't change him, or beg him to stop or yell at him to stop or whatever, because it's not something YOU can control. And until he chooses to control it himself, then there is no end to this downwards spiral of destruction.
Good luck. I watched my brother live through 20 years of a marriage to an alcoholic wife, until their kids were teenagers, and he could divorce and not risk her sobering up long enough to take the kids away from him. Good news is he recently remarried, two kids are on their own now, and one starts college in the fall. He's truely happy now. And paying 60000 in alimony for the rest of his life. A price he is happy to pay to have his life back. And no, I didn't add one too many zeros on that figure. Don't get divorced in Minnesota.
Good luck to you. My heart goes out to you. You have not had an easy road to follow. Take care.
Wooow....Living with a alcoholic....Has to be terrible....One of my hubby's uncle is a alcoholic.....and just seeing him coming is like ohhhh noooo.....He always has a beer in his hands.....I don't get it at all!!!
Be strong....We're here for you!!!
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