why?

It's a normal day. It's naptime and I am laying on my bed with all the lil ones watching Mr. Rogers and relaxing...and then SLAM!! there he is...and in roll the memories and the pain like water through a cracked dam. Overwhelming and devastating. WHY WHY WHY? It's just not fair... I don't deserve this pain and he is not worthy of these tears. When is it going to end? What will it take to seal up the dam and keep it sealed??

Friends

Well I woke up this morning with the feelings of frustration, anger, resentment still lingering from last night. I opened my mail and I was surprised with a very nice note from a blogger friend I have been missing, and card from a longtime friend...it had this on it:

V!,

Because you're

More beautiful than a field of daisies,

Sweeter than the smell of lilacs,

More brilliant than any sunflower,

Warmer than the glowing sun,

You're wonderful just because you're YOU!

Now how can I not feel better? I really needed to hear that. I am so blessed with friends, warm caring, supportive people who don't judge. These friends are all online too, how is it that these kinds of people are so hard to find in real life? or maybe it's just that it is easier to open up here and let others see the real me, whoever that is. It doesn't matter tho, I am just so glad we managed to find each other in this huge universe. They have been my salvation more times than they know.

Hot Nights-Cool Music

Well the Saturday night 'Hot Nights-Cool Music' series has started in our little town. This is the second year for this short series of free concerts. They close down one of the minor streets on the courthouse square, set the band on the courthouse steps, put park benches in the street and the people who bring their lawn chairs set up wherever they want or sit on the curbs! I'm not good at guessing, but I think there were probably 500+ people there. Big Otis was the featured entertainer for this week. He sang everything from KC and the Sunshine band to Otis Redding. Young and old alike were dancing in the street, kids were playing and everybody was having a good time. You can bring your food and drinks or buy from the vendors spread out on the corner of the square. Last night I saw sausage and kraut, chicken breasts or steak on a stick, nachos and the drink vendors had sodas, water and the ever present beer.(This being a predominantly German/Polish community, beer is more readily available than water!) It's a nice way to get out of the house, visit with friends and neighbors in a casual, fun setting and everybody can go because it's CHEAP!

Cat in the Hat

It's sad but, oh so true, things happen to us as we age that we seem to have no control over. We may have to put up with it, but we DO NOT have to like it!

hair removal

All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly, girl and I am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. *YA THINK!!!*
So I pull one of the thin strips out, it's two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh how this phrase haunts me!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself. RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the strip. PS&%T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP. Everything is swirly and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt, that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair..The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S&%T I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...................
remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DAMN!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut. Butt?? Sealed shut. I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off." Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!*I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether businesses glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub!! In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!! God bless the man that convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located on bottom "Are we talking cheeks or hole or what?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my friend, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!! I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair........! .......................... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......................ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. So I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color......



ok this is not my story but I was gasping and tears were rolling while I was reading this....and it could so easily be me!!!!!!

comments and country

I know some people do the 'moderate comments' thing....and I wonder sometimes what criteria they use to filter comments received. I can understand someone being hateful, or nasty or spam......but I noticed recently that on one of the blogs I read regularly, any comments I make never make the comment section. I don't comment every time I visit a site, most of the time because whatever I might say has already been said, sometimes several times. I also don't make negative comments...so it kinda makes me wonder! It's not really a big thing but it's a puzzle and we all know.... puzzles intrigue me! lol

I live out in the country, so 'critters' are no surprise occasionally, but when I walked into my bathroom one night to get ready for bed and saw a snake, I aged about 5 years and nearly peed my pants to boot! I am NOT a snake person. I do know they are out there...and I am ok with that if i don't have to see them. However, if they come into my space they must be eliminated for my peace of mind! This one slithered off to somewhere and I havent seen it again, but now I can't walk around in here or reach for anything without wondering if that thing is there. I can't go to the bathroom after dark without the light on and a look around....and it just sucks. Especially since I have the lil ones here...I am terrified they are gonna find the silly thing. It's been over a week tho and no sign of him....maybe I scared him worse than he scared me! Ya gotta LOVE the country life!!!

Quizes

These things are fun....they amaze me with their accuracy sometimes.. Good guessing? How else can so much of you show in only a few questions? Hmmm maybe Fortune Tellers know! You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything.You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life.You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you. Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace.You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life.Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times. At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you.You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others.You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

What Temperment Are You?