Christmas

wow, it's been a while! So much going on this time of the year....so many emotions to deal with, so many memories...... Every time I hear the song Silver Bells I am 6 years old again in the Christmas program at the elementary school. The song Rocking Around the Christmas Tree reminds me of my Mom, actually she is an integral part of Christmas for me....The brisk winter air with Christmas songs playing softly, the cold impersonality of Christmas dinner eaten in a hospital cafeteria, a long drive home crying all the way and reaching home and a family waiting on THEIR mom for Christmas, watching them in a daze feeling disembodied and numb with pain, helping her walk slowly because she was too weak to do it alone and sit wrapped in a blanket for hours on a bench in her yard watching beloved children and grandchildren play football knowing it would be her last Christmas, shopping quickly and hurrying to meet the man I loved for some much needed time together needing his strength because all of mine was going to Mom, making pecan pies because that was her favorite...and then there are my babies, my beautiful babies with the awe filled eyes and the innocent delight in the lights and the gifts and the exuberance of having everybody together, running and playing and exclaiming over new things until they just curl up and pass out in somebodys lap. I look at them and I see little pieces of my past in them and all of my future...they are my imortality, and the imortality of everybody who came before me....I hug them tightly and I feel better and I will try to give them wonderful memories to carry with them and use as a buffer against the pain of loss that we all face eventually.

make a memory

I'm inviting you, Dear Reader to....make a memory with me! If you read this, please post a comment with a COMPLETELY FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want... But it does have to be fake. When you're finished (only if you like), post this paragraph on YOUR blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T actually remember about you.
Cheers to memories!!!! (got this from Lori's blog)

Merry Christmas

I haven't posted in a while, I have a lot on my mind but haven't decided how to let it out lol. I will tho.............in the meantime, I hope everybody who comes thru here has a wonderful Christmas.

mumerology

OK I don't go to 'psychics' nor do I get up and read my horiscope before I go about my life, but it amazes amd intrigues me how accurate some of the personality profiles can be . I have mainly looked at astrology in the past but I got an email the other day touting the latest freebie so being the curious thing that I am of course I tried it! I read it and came to the conclusion that I just might be on the right track with this blog ...maybe it can help me share my deeper self and become 'less of an idealistic perfectionist"!! Hey, don't laugh!! It's worth a try anyway, I don't wanna be lonely dammit!!! (besides it's kinda fun! thanks Lori! *grins*)
Anyway, this actually does sound pretty much like me in case you were curious this is my numerology profile::Your Soul Number is SEVEN. Deep, serious, introspective, and analytical, you accept nothing at face value, and you are always probing into the hidden side or deeper meaning of situations and people. You are fascinated by the mysterious and unknown. You enjoy periods of solitude in peaceful surroundings, and need time to study, reflect, or meditate. You may be given to much daydreaming and flights of the imagination as well. The ocean has a powerful attraction for you. The study of philosophy, psychology, scientific research, metaphysics, or religion appeals to you. You are scientific in your approach to Truth. Private, reserved, and rather secretive, there are probably very few who truly know and understand your inner thoughts, feelings, hopes, and aspirations. Unless you learn to share your deeper self more freely, and to be less of an idealistic perfectionist, you may be rather lonely.

just thinking.....

I was reading the blog of a young man who is the child of a friend of mine. This young man is 20 years old..has never had but one job in his entire life, is attending Rice University, just got his drivers license and a car( purchased by his parents of course, not brand new but new enough). Anyway he was talking about Christmas shopping, about how he had a gift in mind for Mom but it wasn't enough to give on its own, and how he and his sis were going over to their Dad's workplace ( across town from them) and do some shopping "if there were any decent places to shop in that area". Got me to thinking about how it is that this young man would have the funds to worry over much about 'decent' shopping, and what he considers that to be. Is there some law that says that a gift given with love no matter the price is not equal to one of more monetary value given because there is a certain dollar amount expected to be spent?? I have seen this same young man make disparaging remarks about other things from time to time. It makes me sad to think about it. Snobbery. Someone who thinks they are superior to others in any form....Nobody is BETTER than anybody else...but everybody is just as good as everybody else. So what if they don't have the education you do? So what if they don't have the finances you do? So what if they don't have the beauty you do or the social grace? None of that means that they are not as good as you, that they don't have just as good a heart and in the end isn't that what really counts?? Of course there are going to be people you just don't care for, personalities being so individual, it's just a shame that people think differences are a basis for superority/inferiority. My opinion *grins*

P.S. YES I do some of my Christmas shopping at Wal Mart...if that isn't satisfactory then I guess a heartfelt Merry Christmas will have to do!!

Santa ClausNorth Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Lori's Office party. It was John who spiked the punch with too much Elf juice. I can't help it if I drank 12 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like palmolive.
I thought it was funny when I put Rick's socks on my head and danced the lambada on the high chair while singing `Joy to the World'. I didn't mean to break Lori's razor and don't know why Lori would accuse me of jaywalking.
I don't remember calling Mark's wife a vigorous Cow---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and orange lipstick!
And when I threw up on Stella's husband's pinky toe, it was only because I ate too much of that pickle relish.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my moped through my neighbor's door. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a wide goat and have me arrested for kidnapping!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all awsome and loud. And I'm really not to blame for any of this succulent stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and limping yours,

V (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 9 bucks!

(I borrowed this from Lori's blog...here's the link if you want it : http://members.aol.com/frogiearno/dearsanta.htm )

5 weird habits

Here are the rules:“The first player of this game starts with the topic “five weird habits of yourself,” and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don’t forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says “You are tagged” (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.”

My 5 weird habits :
1) I always line up the cans in my cabinet and have them face the front
2) I rock myself slightly when I am thinking hard
3) I wiggle my big toe when I am tense
4) I make up my own words to songs
5) I brush my hair before I shower

5 people I have tagged:
1) Luvangel
2)Dragonlord
3)Pennelope
4)Lisa
5)Moon

Dec.15

Well it finally hit tonight, the sadness that I feel this time of the year. I hate losing the joy of Christmas but there are so very many painful memories now...they just snuck up and rolled right over me before I could stop them tonight. Wave after wave, it seems they don't end once they start. It would be so nice to have somebody just to hold me and talk to me until I could handle it again but emotion is the one thing that seems to make people the most uncomfortable. (or maybe it just doesn't matter to them? ) So....until I can find my balance again or at least pretend, here I sit crying in the dark, alone and so very lonely.

Seven things....

Oh my Oh my, I have been tagged!! not once but twice so I better get my thinking cap on ..

Seven things I want to do before I die:
1) Learn to be more articulate when I'm emotional
2) Learn how not to be so emotional
3) Drive a bulldozer
4) Have every room in the house completely clean at the same time
5) Take more vacations and see the wonders of this America
6) Learn to play an instrument
7) Broaden my circle of loved ones

Seven things I can't do:
1) Hurt somebody on purpose
2) Jog
3) Sit ups
4) Dive
5) Pass up kisses and hugs
6) Listen to little ones cry
7) A brake job

Seven things that attracted me to my husband( wife, partner or whatever applies):
1) His dependability
2) His generosity
3) His confidence
4) His family values
5) His love for me
6) His shoulders
7) His hair

Seven things I say most:
1) I love you
2) hmmmmmmmm
3) yea
4) come here
5) What are you doing?
6) What do you want to eat?
7) Oh look!

Seven books or Series I love:
1) Anything by Johanna Lindsey
2) Encyclopedias
3) Better Homes and Gardens cookbook
4) Veronica Mars
5) The Bible
6) A Time to Kill by John Grisham
7) Erma Bombeck

Seven movies I would watch over and over:
1) Steel Magnolias
2) Dirty Dancing
3) Fried Green Tomatoes
4) Porky's
5) Shag
6) Pure Country
7) The Fox and the Hound

Seven people I want to tag:
ANYBODY READING THIS IS TAGGED!

Sunday morning

There is just something about a Sunday morning. That relaxed easy feeling that makes staying in bed with your 'someone'... cuddling, talking, making love, laughing...being isolated from the rest of the world, almost a requirement. What a great way to re-charge , to shed the burdens of the week behind us and be ready for the week ahead. I wish everybody had a 'Sunday morning someone', it might be a happier world on Monday morning!

Well the weather got nasty here, an unusual happening...one day it was 82 and 3 days later it was freezing rain and icicles hanging everywhere, that's Texas for you. The pump froze up but the electricity stayed on which surprised me. The kids were of course stuck in the house and the chaos those wild things created will take forever to undo lol. Ahhhh to be young and rambunctious again!!
Got a call from my youngest brother who wanted to know if I was interested in a visit to Alabama after Christmas. It's been over a year since I have seen my brothers over there and I would love to If I can make arrangements. I will try, I could really use a break.

Stephanie

It didnt start off very well, I cried when i found out I was pregnant again. The Dr. had patted my shoulder and said 'try to be happier when I see you again" . I already had 2 babies, lived out in the country with no family, no friends around and a husband who was gone from daylight until dark. There were no problems and the pregnancy went along fine. The time came for her to be born and off we went to the hospital. It was my 3rd ceasarian, no surprises....until i looked at her.....something inside me just flipped over and filled me up. That had not happened with the other 2 babies who I loved to distraction. Maybe it was because I hadn't really wanted this child at this time...but here she was, my little shadow. The child of my heart. It doesnt matter how many children you have and love them all equally there will be one that you have a connection with that is stronger and she was it. Today was her birthday, she is 27 now....a tall, beautiful young lady with a friendly smile and big velvety brown eyes, newly married, independent from the beginning, strong minded and confident, loyal and loving. How proud I am of the woman she is.

Christmas shopping

Oh my!!! Just try to go to a store that is closing down during the Christmas season! I was out yesterday prowling around, mostly to get out of the house, not really doing any serious shopping because I had Wyatt with me(Wyatt is my 2 yr old grandson). I was going to pop into one of my favorite discount stores and what did i find but "Closeout Sale' posters all over! Well being the thrifty lil person that I am I thought 'sweeeeeeeet' lol I am here to tell you that those people in there were NUTS! It was like that extra 20% they were getting off on that merchandise was gonna make them rich! I swear it is more fun watch people than almost anything. They continue to amaze me.

Grandpa

He was always there, from her earliest memory, this wiry little man with the piercing blue eyes. Always wore the same outfit..brown khaki long sleeved shirt buttoned all the way up, brown khaki pants, brown hightop lace up shoes, brown thin socks with garters to keep them up and a tan fedora. The only varience was seasonal, boxers and undershirt in summer and a union suit in winter that flopped around his thin frame when he did a jig when he was ready for bedmaking a little girl roll with laughter. He could sit for hours in the back yard under the pecan tree and whittle or play his harmonica, watching his grandchildren run around playing after school. The evenings were spent playing solitaire or teaching the little girl to play dominoes if she was there. And she was always there, sitting at his feet, playing with his hands while he talked about the times of his youth and the family she didnt know. He made biscuits as light as air, allowed only lard in the house, claiming that Crisco plugged people up, and peeled pecans and walnuts for the holiday goodies with his pocket knife. He was a fierce protector, a kind, loving and patient man and he is missed. Happy Birthday Grandpa.

Things that make me feel good

There are things in this world that just make your soul smile.....The sun on your shoulders, the rustle of the breeze in the trees, the sound of the crickets and frogs at dusk, the vibrant colors of a sunset, the sound of the ocean waves washing onto the shore, the touch of someone you love, the sounds of childrens laughter, the feel of a little one sleeping in your arms and the sweet tartness of lemon meringue pie on your tongue. Thank you God!!!